Rant: servers and the ingrates behind them

Okay, this one's such an easy and obvious shot that we'll keep it as short as possible. Too many restaurants with dreams of glory have servers without grace. In countries like Spain where being a server is considered a perfectly noble career--and paid as such--most nice restaurants have servers who take not only pride in their work but ownership for your experience in their restaurant. As well they should; in most cases, we diners talk with nobody else at the restaurant. Portland stands well above many US cities in understanding this, and our servers often do quite well. But I have had some experiences here in supposedly excellent restaurants that still stand out as some of the worst I recall. How can one enjoy well-prepared food while an ill-prepared, uninformed person jostles and offends me? Let's be clear: I blame the management more than anyone for this state of affairs. Have you served and all your wines to your servers and discussed them? Have you made sure they have tried all the dishes? Have you shown them how the dishes are prepared? Do they know what substitutions, additions or subtractions make sense? Do you pay for quality servers and give them reason to stay? If not, why the hell not?

San Diego has awful service in general, and servers that rarely last a year, but Chez Loma on Coronado has the same excellent servers every time I go: a period now spanning ten years. They know the wines, the dishes, the preparation, and will comfortably ask the chef to come to your table in case of doubt. Imagine how that makes me feel as a diner. Why wouldn't you want me to feel that way at your restaurant?

Rant: the chef-to-vegetarian chasm

A few more general comments before we start dissecting restaurants...

Foremost on my mind as I think about getting vegetarian food in nice restaurants is the difficult chasm between producer and consumer. Namely, if I as a vegetarian call a restaurant and say "Hi, there are a few vegetarians in our party, will you be able to accomodate us?" I am speaking to a server or host who really is in no position to respond with anything more meaningful than a recitation of the menu. Now, odds are I have already looked at your menu and know that you have exactly one vegetarian entree, which makes for a dull evening if 3 of 4 people in my group are vegetarians. But I listen patiently as you try to make your salads sound like an adventurous option, totally off the culinary beaten path. I will then ask gently if your chef would be interested in making some extra vegetarian entrees, or if I could talk to him or her about it. Usually at this point, the person on the phone will get a little panicky and give me an excuse about the chef being too busy right now, and so I give up.

But the sad punchline to this skit comes from talking the chefs who are thoughtful enough to come through the restaurant. Almost invariably they show interest in making vegetarian entrees. I suspect part of the interest comes from an excuse to experiment within the confines of somewhat repetitive work making the on-menu recipes. However, reaching those chefs when it comes time to make a reservation requires more than merely repeating the chef's interest to the hostess. Obviously, the chef often really is busy, and those taking reservations have reason to keep every whiny diner from reaching the chef's ears. Which leaves me back where I've been for 10+ years of fine dining: wishing for a way to reach the wild diversity of vegetarian food I know Portland's chefs are capable of creating.

Maybe we need a Vegetarian Club card.

Historical high bar: Couvron

To avoid giving any current restaurant the fame or ignominy of being first, let's pour some liquor for a restaurant that last I heard shuffled off to New York to play in the big leagues.* I wish them well, although I kept thinking "big fish in small pond becomes small fish in big pond." Couvron offered the best 7 course vegetarian meals I have ever had, including wine pairings designed for the vegetarian dishes. I see some reviewer comments on eGullet and elsewhere that service remains a bit slow, but for the price, I wasn't looking for fast food. Given the troubles we have had getting vegetarian food in some of the nicer restaurants in town (and I assure you, I will name names), Couvron was a delight. What's more, the hostess (Maura) was very helpful on a few occasions, and never made me feel like I was not old or rich enough to be in her restaurant. we repaid that kindness by going back as often as we could afford.

* Update: sure enough, a bit more searching shows that Couvron New York has closed. Looks like the rap was that it was too pricey for the neighborhood and didn't compete with other high-price establishments like Daniel.

let's eat!

Hello hi hey,

If you are a news junkie in Portland, OR, then you have probably noticed that it is not so easy to figure out which restaurants are actually you know, good. Many of the restaurant critics seem to treat restaurants here like small town papers treat homegrown theater productions: low expectations and gentle encouragement. If you are vegetarian, you have also noticed that perhaps 1 of 3 reviews mentions whether there is anything for you to eat. Of those, perhaps 1 of 10 says whether the restaurant offers anything better than hotel pasta primavera.

So I thought I'd try to raise the standards for restaurant reviews in this town. Worse writing most likely, but hopefully higher epicurean standards, and at the very least a guarantee that vegetarian options will be examined. Interested collaborators can contact me.